Umbrella Uncertainty

Umbrella Uncertainty



The beginning of the new term at University means moving back to the big ol’ baaad city and whenever I step off the bus, I always feel in a bit of a daze. Before my street rage kicks in (about half way through term) I spend some time getting used to walking in a city once again. The walk from the bus station to my flat usually consists of many “Oopses” and “Sorries” and sometimes even screams – the other day, I  actually screamed when I saw a shadow  looming round the corner of a busy street and it was only a poor old lady. What a fright she got. But you see, I know there’s going to be people coming round the corner and that’s what gets me. It’s the waiting.

The same thing happens when I make toast.

But now, I’ve just about got to grips with walking like a normal human being – someone who knows where they’re going and who picks a path and stays to it. But yesterday it started raining and having to use an umbrella completely threw me out my comfort zone. Having no spacial awareness WHATSOEVER, I feel I must turn my umbrella vertically whenever I pass someone. Have you ever seen anyone else do that? I haven’t. It completely defeats the purpose of having an umbrella (all the water it prevented from hitting you, then drips down your neck) and it makes me look like a total spaz.


I do try. Whenever I see I’m about to pass another person on the street, I clench my knuckles, and gear myself up to keep my umbrella horizontal. 

Come on Josie, you can do it. There’s plenty of space, you’ll make it. No one’s going to get hurt.

But at the last second, I chicken out, and vertical the umbrella goes.

Moral of these musings? Invest in a coat with a hood. 

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