Don’t Drink and Mop

Don’t Drink and Mop

Turns out, the tax payers are pissed off:

Better Together Customer (irritable) : On holiday again?

Me (apologetically): Yeah, I seem to have more holidays than I do classes…

I giggle half-heartedly in the hope that I bring him out of his despondence. No such luck.

Better Together Customer (highly unamused): Mmm. And it’s my taxes that are paying for you.

And then he left without a “thank you” or a “goodbye”. I wondered what had got his knickers in a twist since he’s usually a very nice customer – one of my favourites – but now I may have to sneeze on his change.  It’s probably the whole stress of his leaflets being hidden (and his taxes, I guess). Although, when I think back on yesterday, it was a very grumpy day overall. The owners were once again tethered to the Spar after their lovely holiday away so that’s probably why they were tetchy; the other staff had been working long hours while the owners were away so that’s probably why they were tetchy, and I guess the villagers were just fed up with the sunshine:

Me: Hello! Enjoying the lovely sunshine?

Lobster Customer: No. Ah jist cannae get anythin’ done in this bloody heat!

Me: Oh. Yes, terrible. Terrible. Let’s hope it stays away tomorrow and the rain, sleet, hail, and wind come rushing back.

Ok, I didn’t say that last bit, but seriously, thank goodness there’s the weather otherwise no one would have anything to complain about.

But everyone was significantly chirpier today – probably because it’s Friday and they were all away to get pissed. It was my turn to be grumpy this time, although my boss did give me a glass of wine while I mopped up, which was…strange. I didn’t really want it (because being Scottish, I’m just a manic binge drinker), but my boss is very difficult to say no to. He just asks and asks and asks until you want to kill him and so say yes instead as it’s a lot less messy. So I had the glass of wine and I thought it would be ok; that there couldn’t be that many units in the one glass. My Dad, who’s been on the course, always says that it’s ZERO TOLERANCE, but I told myself that it would only be this one time; that I would never do it again. Turns out, one time is all it takes and that after only one glass, my judgments became cloudy and my reactions too slow – a jar of Lloyd Grossman’s Chicken Korma was no more.

So don’t drink and mop, kids. The curry stains will play upon your mind forever.

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