Death

Death

Apologies for my last, somewhat melodramatic blog post. Also, apologies for this, somewhat melodramatic blog post title. I probably shouldn’t write when I’ve got P.M.T.

God, isn’t P.M.T great? You can actually blame ALL of your flaws on it. Like, I just blamed my really bad blog post on P.M.T. I blame grumpiness, impatience, tiredness, and stupidity on it too. I actually feel sorry for boys – if THEY are ever horrible then it’s because they’re a horrible person, but for us girls, it’s just P.M.T!

There was one time when I had it really bad; when I was up and down like a yoyo on speed. My boyfriend would lovingly stroke my hair or try and hold my hand and I would go all stoney and tell him to leave me alone. THEN I’d get all tearful and emotional and I’d hug him tightly and tell him that I loved him so much. Then next thing, I’d be snapping at him for not having Humans ready to watch as SOON as our dinner was ready to eat. After hours of this mental behaviour, I apologised, saying “I’m sorry – I hope it’s just P.M.T”. to which he replied, “I hope so too…otherwise, you’re just a bitch.”

Cue extremely tense silence during which my boyfriend looked at me like a little bunny caught in the glare of a laser beamed tank, immediately regretting what he said and waiting for my reaction.

Don’t worry: no blood was shed. Instead, I laughed. I realised that without P.M.T., I would be a cow –  a horrible, horrendous beast of a human being – and my boyfriend would probably dump my ass, but with it, I was just the helpless victim of hormonal surges.

MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The world was my oyster.

P.s. I was going to try and write an insightful post about death, but I’m tired and grouchy and just want some chocolate, my colouring in book (it’s for adults) (even if it is a Harry Potter colouring in book), and the Gilmore Girls on television.

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