My Trip To Oxford: Day 1

My Trip To Oxford: Day 1

11:03 My Dad has decided to live on a canal boat for the summer, and I’ve decided to join him. Wait, that sounds like I’ve decided to join him for the summer – I should clarify that I’m only joining him for four days, although I wish it was for the summer. My brother and my sort of brother are also with him. I’ve pretty much got one book per day to get through so I’m hoping they’re not going to make me do too many drugs or drink too much alcohol. I really just want to chill, but I have a feeling that’s not going to happen.

I’m on the train right now. There’s a really grumpy lady in the seat in front of me complaining that her window’s not much of a window. I’m sitting in my window seat all like, “don’t even think about playing a travel sick card, this seat’s mine, bitch”. Although if she was to ask for the seat I would definitely give it to her without a moment’s hesitation. I’d probably apologise too.

Through the gap in the seats, I can now see her writing something about Christ on her laptop.

Christ.

In contrast, the guys sitting to the left of me have long hair and beards (well, one of them has long hair and one of them has a long beard). They’re wearing checkered shorts, colourful trainers, they’re playing Exploding Kittens (BEST game in the world), drinking cider, and when they got on the train one of them sad, “Damn, I forget to make a spliff!”

I’d say I’m somewhere in the middle (literally and figuratively) of the Jesus lady and the hippy guys.

I went a bit crazy and practically spent my month’s wages buying snacks in Marks and Spencer’s. I got salted cashew nuts, celery sticks, hummus, pork pies, salt and vinegar crisps, a big bottle of water, an iced latte, and two cans of elderflower cider. I was going to wait until after 12 to drink my cider. Or maybe I’ll wait until my second train.

I’m, dare I say it, feeling very content at the minute. I love boats, the sun is shining, I’m listening to my folk pop playlist, I’ve got a great book to read and great snacks to eat.

11.26 I can’t stop reading what this lady is writing. I think it’s an essay on some sort of book although it could very well be a sermon. Also, I’m feeling even more content right now as I just went to the toilet. Train toilets make me extremely nervous, although they’re not as bad as plane toilets. I always think that the moment I sit down on a plane toilet is the moment that the plane will plummet to the ground.

I don’t want to die on a toilet. If I have to go, then I’ll go super quick so I can die in my seat with my seat belt fastened like everyone else.

18:45 Guys, I’ve arrived and I’m sorry to say that I’m a little bit drunk already. There’s a friggin’ bull in the field we’re moored to, but apparently it’s ok because it doesn’t cost anything.

When I arrived I stared fingering something that looked really cool. I asked, “ooh, what is this?” and the boys said it was cat litter. After I got excited that there was a cat on board they told me that they used the cat litter to take the smell out of the fridge.

The boys are all happy to see me. In fact, they’ve been paying more attention to me than they ever have before in their whole entire lives. That’s what happens when you only have two people for company for two months. They’ll tire of me eventually. I’m loving it right now though. They’re laughing at all my jokes, which is really weird! Like I said, “Man, it’s nice to be here instead of the office” and my Dad said, “yeah, I don’t really know what an office is like” (bastard, just because he retired early) and then I said, “yeah, you only know what an off licence is like” and everyone laughed really hard.

It’s weird. I’m sure things will change tomorrow.

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